The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
