So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?