I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.