she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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