just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
