You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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