i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
