The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
