People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
A+ Viking dick
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i out mim tonsoeep
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