I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
