hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
