doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
