just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
