My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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