these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
