sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
