Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize