I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
