32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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