I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
