I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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