I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My vagina is officially offended.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize