Betty ford says i'm here all night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Randomize
