Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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