It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
