i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
