watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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