i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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