I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
