Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
