You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
