My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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