is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
