weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Randomize
