We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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