It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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