I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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