Nicole vs. Life
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
