is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
