I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
