you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
