Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
