I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
