You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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