kristin has been a bad kristin
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
