No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
