he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
