He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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