Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
two words...techno handjob
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
