we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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