Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
