Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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