Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
