I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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