I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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