Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
