Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
