Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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