it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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