Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize