If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
