Too much gin, very little bucket
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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